Grandma...

Today marks 9 years since my Grandma Tait died. As a result I have been thinking about her an awful lot. I was in bed trying to go to sleep and not being able to (the result of working nights I guess) and for the hundredth time in the last few days I found my mind wandering to you, Grandma, and before I even realized it, I was feeling tears running down my cheeks. I can hardly believe that it has been 9 years, but still I sit here and miss you so much that I can hardly breathe! So for my own therapy tonight I wanted to remember you and writing for me is usually that-good therapy.

I find that especially when I have hard things in my life and at moments where I need to dig deeper for faith and courage I tend to think of you because you are full of faith and courage. I am feeling so blessed right now that I got the opportunities to see you be such an example of that first hand and learn from you so closely. I love so much that I got to be great friends with you!

We sang "I am a Child of God" at your funeral because you wanted so much for us to remember that simple truth for our whole lives. Tonight I feel so blessed to really know that I am a child of God! I am grateful for a wonderful family-grandparents, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and so many others who have taught me this for my entire life and continue to remind me of this reality daily. I know that He knows and loves little old me in Wray, Colorado. I am grateful for my knowledge that Jesus lives and because of that I will see and have many more sweet moments with you. A few weeks before you died we were all together and you asked us to practice our songs for the funeral-morbid? Maybe, but we did it anyway as you lay up in your bed listening. At one point I remember you saying "this is my heaven." I really believe that is what heaven will be...peace and contentment surrounded by the ones you love the best. Here is to that hope...no empty chairs!!!

There is a simple primary song that says "I wish every child in the whole wide world had a grandmother just like you." I really do wish that! I hope that my children get to have a relationship with their grandmothers like I have had. I hope that I can be even half of the grandma you were someday. I hope that when I grow up I have the faith, courage, wisdom and grace that you had your whole life. So for now, "I'll try to be good; I'll do as I should. I'll whisper I love you too." Because I really did have the best grandmother in the whole wide world and I want you for eternity! Love you forever!!